I have a love/hate relationship with food. It's been a lifelong struggle with me and is probably the most obvious and most commented on of my sensory issues.
As a child, I would try a food and if the texture wasn't just right, it would gross me out. The most glaring issue I had was with meat. I liked process meats more than other kinds of meat because they're somewhat homogenized. But even with processed meat I would encounter gristle or weird textures, and that would make me gag. Once that happens, I would completely lose my appetite. At that point even eating something I like and that I know is good and has a nice texture would still leave me feeling sick and my stomach would be very unsettled, making me feel like I may vomit at any moment. The worst offender for me was ground beef - because crumbled up in a dish like spaghetti or hamburger helper, it all felt like gristle. I tried, I really did. I wanted to eat the pasta part of spaghetti but I couldn't pick out all the meat and I'd just end up gagging at some point and feeling unable to continue eating anything for a while. I have always loved canned spaghetti pasta that has no meat, but couldn't stand real spaghetti because of the association with ground beef and crumbled sausage that has made it so any thin pasta is off-putting to me.
I also had issues with chicken nuggets because I'd occasionally hit gristle in there, and for whole chicken I could eat just the outer-most part of the drumstick, and the breast, but wouldn't fully pick all the meat off of the pieces because the deeper it went the more likely I was to get a weird texture. I got a lot of flack for that and I was called wasteful an awful lot as a kid.
My issues with not being able to eat so many of the dinners prepared at home and some of the ones prepared at school lead to me overeating dramatically when I was able to get a meal I actually enjoyed. If there was pizza with no gross toppings, I ate every bit I could get my hands on. Same with mashed potatoes, sandwiches, any potato except sweet potatoes (pureed is ok but not if those strings are in there). There were a lot of fruits and vegetables I couldn't bring myself to eat as well. While I could have banana I'd obsessively pick every string off of it because those grossed me out and i often left the very end in the banana because I do not like eating the stem connection points of any fruit or vegetable. Even that tiny dot at the bottom of a cherry tomato is not allowed.
As a kid I could not get anyone to understand these issues. I was mocked and belittled for being so picky. It's like you're stuck between two strong opposing forces - on one hand your brain and body react violently to the food but on the other hand you have an authoritarian presence you are afraid of telling you that you must eat it. It felt impossible, and I learned to just pick at what I could, wait for meals I did like or sneak food when my family was asleep or at work.
To this day, these issues will end my meal if they arise. If there is sand in a seafood dish, egg shell in an egg dish, gristle or fat in any kind of meat, bones in any kind of meat except sardines and salmon where they are softened, a smooth, soft or creamy food with any kind of crunch, like celery in tuna salad, crunchy onions in anything, mystery items or ingredients I can't identify, the food is poky or stabby in my mouth - for example I can't eat the really spiky spring mix lettuce or the baby spinach that has those long stems. I can't eat the stalks of any lettuce, so for me to eat romaine, which I really like, I have to slice out the stem then chop up the leafy parts. I don't like overly chewy foods, I absolutely cannot do bubble tea, and any food that is just a mix of stuff with tomato sauce is an absolute no-go. I detest lima beans for their pasty, gritty texture, I hate pineapple or anything with a pulpy texture. Basically, any food that has mixed textures is probably going to be a problem for me with the glaring exception of putting potato chips in a sandwich, which I love because it covers up any gross texture in the meat. Apparently I like the crunch of chips that much.
This is an area where I would advise parents to be sensitive to your child's food sensitivities. I know the focus is on your child having a broad diet and good nutrition, but forcing them to eat foods that make them genuinely feel sick can cause them harm. It can contribute to dysfunctional eating habits and to emotional disturbances.
There are so many different ways to prepare foods that it is possible to find a way to get them the nutrition they need while also giving them the texture they need. An excellent example of this is I am ok with drinking smoothies containing vegetables I absolutely will not touch if they are not pureed. A protein shake is very welcome, while meat itself is not. Simple foods that aren't mixed are great, for example when I might have refused a vegetable filled casserole, I'd gladly eat raw veggies with ranch dip. Let your kids cue you in to what works for them and you can find solutions that work for both of you. In the long run, it makes things easier and happier.
No comments:
Post a Comment